Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Life Is Unbelieveable

I couldn't sleep tonight so I thought I would come to the computer to try to put some of my thoughts and emotions down on "paper."

Wow. Life is just so absolutely unbelieveable sometimes.

How does life change so quickly?....all in an instant I feel like I am watching as someone else's life if being played out in front of my very eyes. When I think back to where we were as a family just a year and a half ago, I wonder....how did we get to this point? Why must the man that I love and the family that surrounds him have to suffer in such a way? Why must Brad face his own mortality at such a young age? For a man who has such a passion for life...why must he face so many physical trials? Brad gives me courage, he gives me a friendship like no one else, he gives me joy, he makes me laugh (all the time), he is SO passionate about SO many things, he is an amazing listener, he gives me encouragement....we have such an amazing relationship together...why must we face such a difficult journey?

Up until today I felt like I had a reasonable grasp on where we were headed and now things look so very uncertain.

We went in to see our MD Anderson oncologist (Dr. Benjamin) yesterday afternoon. I felt confident prior to going in, that at least we knew what we were up against. The road looked difficult, but at least we were prepared to hear the plan. I even told Bryan, just moments before going in to see the doctor, that I wasn't even feeling anxious at that point....I felt like Brad & I had reached a place of peace about the chemo and the treatment plan that we were facing.

And then the ground was yanked out from beneath us and we have been spiraling through our emotions ever since.

The doctor told us that Brad's cancer was not de-differentiated but instead true chondrosarcoma now present in numerous spots on his lungs. That "rare cancer" that "rarely matastasizes", went from his leg, to his lungs and is "uncharacteristicly" spreading more quickly than previously documented in other cases. He told us the original chemo treatment plan that we would have taken (if the cancer were de-differentiated) has no effect on the true chondrosarcoma. He continued in saying that Brad's cancer has no known successful treatment at this time. He gave us little "from a medical standpoint" to hope for, but said that there was a new experimental chemo treatment that Brad could try. He said that the drugs could slow down the cancer, or it might have no effect on it, or it might speed up its growth. I'm not sure how comforting that information was....but that is what we are considering.

From MD Anderson's standpoint, we are looking at 2 options: 1.) try the experimental drugs to see if they have any positive effect or 2.) do nothing for now (left untreated the doctor told us that we could expect Brad to live 6months-2years). It was upon hearing that news, that I really stopped listening to anything he had to say and knew from that second forward... our life would never be the same.


Dear Father,
I am asking that through this uncertain, unclear, and absolutely unbelievable time in our lives that you give us strength, that you give us courage, that you give us a sense of peace, and that most of all you give us hope. As Brad & I struggle to find answers, may we find peace, courage, hope and strength in your steady and unwavering love. When everything else looks dark, help us to find the light in your love for us. Let your presence be seen in all those who touch our lives and touch the lives of our children. Lay your hands on our family and lift our heavy hearts. Help us to truly feel your presence.
Amen.

62 comments:

See-Dub said...

Praying with you and for you...

amber dayton said...

Oh Jenny. What can I say except that we are praying that prayer with you guys constantly. Even Anna always prays for "Mr. Brad" every time she talks to our Father. Here's a hug from miles away.

K & A said...

You, Brad, and the kids will remain constant in our prayers.

angie (tammie's sister)

"Answer me when I call to you,
O' my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
Psalm 4: 1

da momma said...

My God is SO BIG! SO strong and SO mighty! Theres NOTHING my God cannot do! Amen

Lana said...

Hi Jenny
I don't know if you remember me we have met several times through Amber. Please know this family is lifting yours up in prayer. Thinking of you:)

Julia said...

Jenny,
We're hurting with you and praying for you.
Julia Russell

Perkins said...

Oh. Our hearts are so sad and heavy. We're praying for a miracle. Much, much love to you.

Kelly said...

Jenny, we love you and Brad! Please know that we hurt with you during these difficult, confusing days! You are in our regular prayers.
...Kelly & Sara
...Bob & Myrt

sillentexas said...

Jenny & Brad, Thanks for the blog and the updates. You all are in our constant prayers.

Lisa said...

Praying for you here in Arlington, and telling everyone we know to pray for you as well.

Clay, Lisa and co.

Leigh7880 said...

Jenny and Brad,

We are praying for you and asking everyone we know to pray with us, asking for a miracle and believing whole-heartedly that it will come.

Much Love,
Leigh and Sid

I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt...you can say to this mountain, "Go throw yourself into the sea" and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

Math 21:21-22

CJAlabama said...

God is powerful. He can do ALL THINGS. So, I need the address for Brad's dr. because I'd like to send him some mustard and ketchup to spread over his words so he can eat them without choking when Brad's cancer dissapears! Love, tears, prayers and hugs from Alabama.

tamandscott said...

Love you guys so much. Our hearts ache from this news. We'll pray without ceasing. Love you!!!

Scott

Tammie Fergusson Harrell said...

Jenny,

I am praying for you, Brad and your entire family. My heart is so heavy for you all, but as so many that have posted have said -- God can do anything.

Love, Tammie

Rebekah said...

Dearest Brad & Jenny,

May the peace that passes ALL understanding desend upon you in JESUS' name!

"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?"

Jeremiah 32:27

Much love,
Rebekah

Blessed and highly favored. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blessed and highly favored. said...

Wims family -
I've only met Jenny via the phone, (I'm Kara Fleming's friend from the Lubbock area) but after reading your blog I feel like you are my family - you are in the Lord's eyes!!!

I will be praying for you!!!

Father,

I lift up Brad and his family to you now. Bless them with peace as they continue on in their faith. We know that this cancer is not from you, Lord, but from the enemy who comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Right now I am rebuking the prognosis of the doctors. I am cancelling the assignments the enemy has on Brad’s life, in Jesus’ name. I am claiming victory over this cancer and I am binding up any spirit of defeat, fear, or hopelessness and casting it aside. I speak blessings over the Wims family and I declare Brad healed by the blood of Christ. And, right now, I praise you for the healing you will bring to Brad and the blessings you will pour out on him and his family. You are our Almighty God, Lord, and Savior. You are able to do abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine and I praise your name. Father, you tell us in Proverbs that our tongues have the power of life or death and I speak life over this family. I plead the blood of Christ be over their doors. I ask you to place a barrier around them that the enemy cannot break through. Thank you, Father.

I ask all of this in Jesus’ name.

Amen


Reach out to Jesus for healing with the faith of the bleeding woman (Matthew 9) and you will be healed!!!

I am asking everyone reading this to stand in agreement with me. Brad, I believe, with all my heart, that you are healed by the blood of Christ and I ask you to believe and agree with me!!!

Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Praise God for the healing you will receive!!! This story will be a testament of your faith and the miraculous, healing power of our Lord!!!

Know that you are blessed today!!!

Rachel in West Texas

Holly said...

The Moulder family is praying for you! I hope you'll find comfort in Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." God is faithful!
Love, Holly

sarahdawn said...

I am hurting for you. God is God and I am not - He can do ANTHING. In this moment I wish there were more I could do. I will do what I can and that is pray, pray, and pray some more. With MUCH love from College Station -

Sarah, Easy, & the kids

happyfootsadfoot said...

Brad and Jenny - All of my thoughts have been with you since hearing the news. I have no idea the pain and confusion (or clarity?) you are going through. Our time here on earth is only temporary, and you and Brad will be together eternally, God willing. I will share with our church family here in Hollywood your prayer, and we will be praying for you earnestly. This is so hard to deal with - I am 1000 miles away and I've got tears in my eyes. Please let me know if there is any way at all I can help your family. - Kenny & Scarlett L

Brooks Inc. said...

Jenny-

We are crying out to the Lord on your behalf...on behalf of your family...asking that the same hands that knit Brad together would remove this cancer. Begging the Lord to give you wisdom and insight into which path you should take for treatment.

Know that our prayers are unceasing...We are longing to see our Father magnifiedthrough His healing. We are also longing for you to feel His presence at every turn...asking that you would feel Him meeting you each day and escorting you through each moment.

You are deeply loved!

Becky

rhonda said...

Praying especially for that strength and hope that you are looking for.

Nellie's Nuggets said...

Our prayers are in agreement with all who have posted here. How beautiful are the words that have been shared.

We love you, and know that on this day and in the days to come that God will hear your names repeated over and over and over again through the prayers of so many.

In the name of Jesus may you be comforted, strengthened and at peace.

Nell and Skip

Jenn said...

We are praying for yall and telling everyone we know to do the same.

BJBenoit said...

Brad and Jenny,

I am an old friend of Brad and his mom from Lee. I just want you to know that my wife, our children, our congregation, and our friends are all praying earnestly for you and your family.

Our deepest love,
Brad Benoit

J Katy Garner said...

sweet family we are and will be praying we love you and the peace tha only comes from God comfort you as we fight this cancer with you!!!

Jen Mall said...

Jenny,
My heart breaks for the pain you and Brad are suffering. I will be praying that God will use Brad to show the world that He is alive and working miracles!
Jennifer Mallory

Emily said...

Oh Jenny... my heart hurts for you and Brad. We will continue praying for you guys and that he make a full miracle in Brad! Remember we are here... for anything!

Emily

Amy said...

Jenny and Brad,

We are praying for you. There is NOTHING our God cannot do!

Amy and Jon Buchanan

Renee Dillon said...

I found this scripture a few weeks ago. I will continue to pray without waiver for you and your family.

James 5:14-16 (New International Version)
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Holly said...

Jenny,
You guys are in my constant prayers, and I've gotten as many people as I can to lift you guys up in prayer. We will all be prayer warriors for you gus. I'm in totally awe of your strength and unwavering love. I lift you all in prayer now that the Lord will give you the peace to deal with the road ahead and the decisions that need to be made. Please give Brad my love, I miss him a lot over at Channelview. It really hasn't been the same without him.

Holly (Grisham) Lamb

Jenna said...

We will be praying for your family.

Justin & Suzanne said...

Sweet Jenny. You and Brad are continually in our thoughts and prayers. I pray that you feel God's arms around you.

One of my favorite scriptures is Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Love you guys, Suzanne

tamandscott said...

Jenny, I am completely amazed at your strength. You are a source of comfort, strength, and support for Brad and all of those who surround you. I only hope that we can all be the same for you.

Brad, you know we love you and absolutely hate what is happening to you. We will pray with all of our might that the experimental treatments work. We have added you, Jenny, the kids, and David and Sandra to all of our thoughts and prayers.

"Tam-bone"

Kami said...

Jenny and Brad,
Just want you to know James and I (and the church here in Cooperstown) are all praying with you and for you...

love,
Kami (Ellis) Yasko

wendeeg73 said...

We love you guys and our prayers are with you!!! Haley has even added Brad to our Dinner prayer and always reminds mommy at bed time.

Jenny your strength amazes me! If their is anything we can do please let us know.

Grubbs Family

Jason said...

Oh my gosh.

Jenny, I was only recently turned onto your blog. I can't believe that all of this is happening to your family. Unbelievable.

I really do not know at all what to write, only to say that we will be thinking of you, and if there is anything (and I do mean ANYTHING) that we can do for you, please don't hesitate for an instant to let us know.

Jason Martin

Cory Dane said...

I thought long and hard before moving to Colorado about coming back around to try and see you guys and the rest of the gang - and now, I feel like I've made one of the worst decisions (or indecisions) I could possibly have made. I can't tell you how much Brad meant to me growing up...my prayers are with y'all. As are some of my best memories...

Heather said...

I just found your blog today. I'm an old friend of Brad's from junior high and high school. I just want you to know that I pray for Brad and your family every day and my thoughts are with you. If there is anything we can do, please let me know.

january embers said...

I am overwhelmed with sadness for your situation and at the same time filled with unspeakable joy because of your faith. We will be praying without ceasing for you and your family.

Jennifer (Hobbins) Hylemon

jaime s said...

Jenny--I am a friend of Tammie's. I am praying for your dear husband and your precious family. I was DEEPLY encouraged by your loving words about Brad. You are honoring him in such a BEAUTIFUL way!

Jaime
from Indiana

Glass said...

I haven't spoken with Brad much since before my wedding, but I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Brad was always there for me in High School and I've always loved and respected him like a brother. So if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.

Richard

Toppooch said...

Prayers are ascending from Colorado my dears. That's a great thing to have on your side ... at our elevation they get to Him quicker! Your strength is an inspiration ... y'all hang in there! - Lesa

Krawl and Anra said...

We know you through the Beck's from College Station and you are on our minds and in our prayers all thoughout the day...Keep on keeping on!

With love,
The Beck and McDonald Families

Richie said...

praying for you guys. Cody Moore has kept me up to date recently. my heart is heavy and aching.

Richie Malone

Karen Uhrhan Chawner said...

Brad and Jenny,

I am praying for you. My heart is breaking for y'all, but I have strong hope that y'all will make it through this.

Erica Maese said...

Wims family, I have never met you, but have heard of you for a couple years now; our dear friends Chris and Rebecca Jones just love you!! She sent out a link to your website a while back; and often I check in on all my online "buds."

Please know that my family and I are praying for you in this uncertain time and hope that you can have some peace and comfort soon. I cannot imagine going through what you are; but hope that if we ever face something like this, I can be graced with the strength and faith you have right now.

Erica Maese and family :)

DeeAnn Thigpen said...

Jenny-
Merla Kramer has been keeping me posted on Brad and she just sent me this blog. What an AMAZING wife and mother you are! The entire Wims family is so blessed to have you!

I have known Brad and his extended family for many years and please know that each and everyone of you are in my prayers during this difficult time. My heart goes out to you all.

May God keep you and bless you.

DeeAnn (Dunaway) Thigpen

Shannon said...

Jenny,

We received your blog address through David Ellis. We were in Baytown in January when Brad saw his doctor and were aware of the situation. Immediately when we returned home I notified our three children and their families to put your family on their prayer list.

I realize you did not want to hear the news you heard this week....but I know that all things are possible in Him in whom we trust.

Give Brad a big "Arkansas Hug" from the Spears family. Lean upon the Lord and He will continue to supply all your needs.

With the love of the Lord,
Wanda Spears

P.S. My love to Sandra and David

Stephen Spears said...

Please let Brad know that there are even some Razorbacks praying for him and all your family.

Paul Fagala said...

Jenny, I wish there were some magical words that would make everything make sense and all better. Just know that you're covered in prayer and loved by lots and lots of people! Praying for complete healing . . .

Candy Stansbury said...

Brad and family-
Let me know what I can do for you at work. My family and friends are lifting you up in prayer. May God's love give you strength and hope!
Candy Stansbury

Stacey G said...

I am a friend of Gena's in Kerrville and just wanted you to know that I am praying for you all constantly. I just know that God has a wonderful, perfect plan for you all. Your family is just precious and we are crying out to the Lord for healing, for peace and for joy. In God there is no fear or confusion and I just know that God has wonderful things in store. May He shower you in all of His goodness!

Jeanne said...

God does not give us more than we can handle even though we are not sure how you can handle these uncertain times. You both have tremendous faith that shows is everything you do. Don't lose site of your faith. We have you in our prayers.

Connie Giles said...

Jenny & Brad,

I received an email from a friend requesting prayers for your family, which included a link to your blog.
I have never met you, but after reading your blog, I feel as though I've known you forever.

Please know that I am praying for you and your family daily. Prayer is a very powerful thing. I do believe that all things are possible through our father.

I have forwarded this same email to everyone on my contact list. Even more friends you have yet to meet will be praying for you every day.

I will continue to check in with your blog for updates.
God Bless You All,

Connie Giles

D & B said...

Dear Brad & Jenny,
We have you both in our prayers, and on our prayer list at church in Onalaksa. Remember this, doctors do not always know what they are doing and are not always right in what they say. If that was so Bubba would have left this world 8 years ago. Keep up the good fight, and attitude is everything. God bless you and your family, Dorothy & Bubba Kay

crieck said...

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. 2 Thessalonians 3:16

There are many people praying for you. We love you guys!
Al & Cindy Rieck

Emiley said...

Jenny,

We have met several times through Amber. Please know that prayers are being lifted up to our great Healer on your family's behalf.

Tami Freeman said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers. We are praying for healing and for all of you to find some peace within your hearts while all seems so uncertain.

Freeman Family
(friends of Scott and Tammie S.)

Heather H. said...

Mrs. Jenny,
I first want you to know that i'm praying for your whole family. Please let me know if there's anyway i can help. You are so strong even in one of the wost cases anyone can thing of. I know i'm still young but you're helping me see God's power and compassion even in the hardest times. Stay stong and God bless.

Anonymous said...

Dear Brad,

I will never forget the Devo you lead in front of the Administration building on a Thursday night(94-97). You talked about having a red phone with a direct line to the president and how awesome that would be. You later said that we have our own red phone to the GREAT Lord and Creator of this universe. That red phone is prayer. I want you to know that my family and I have been on that red phone for you and your family constantly. You have had an awesome effect on everyone you come in contact with and I want you to know that I love you and my family is praying for you daily. Just like I never have forgotten your great message, I want you to never forget about the constant prayers and support of everyone that you have had contact with throughout your life. I love you!

Erin said...

jenny and brad,
tears and prayers.
love, erin