Thursday, March 5, 2009

On the ride home from the viewing, Zeke shared this question.
Z: Once you get to heaven, if you ask God, can you come back if you want to?

J: I think once you get to heaven you don't want to come back because...

Z: ...Because you are so happy and because it is so beautiful and the food tastes great and the drinks taste better and better the more you drink them.

On Friday night, as I am putting Zeke to bed, right after our prayers
Z: You know, God doesn't always grant your wishes when you asked them.

J: That's right Zeke

Z: ...because I asked God to make my Daddy's leg be better and he didn't

J: Sometimes I think God decides that He knows it is better for you to come to Heaven with Him.

Z: My Daddy was going to ride bikes with me and wrestle and play.

J: You are right Zeke...your Daddy wanted to do those things with you more than anything. He will get to do them with you some day when we are all together again. We can look forward to that.

Monday Night, just before Zeke & I went in to see Brad's body together.

J: Zeke, Daddy has been sick for a very long time. He has been hurting and having a lot of trouble God decided to take him to Heaven to be with Him. Right now Daddy's body is laying on our bed. He looks like he is asleep but really his spirit has already left his body to be in Heaven with God. In a minute, I want to take you in there and let you see his body. You can touch him if you want to, but he won't wake up because he has already gone to be with God.

Z: So I am going to be here with you and Kaelyn and Nonnie and Granddad?

J: That's right Baby.

Z: Why didn't Granddad go first?

That same night, as Granddad put Zeke to bed.

Z: My daddy died and he has gone to Heaven to be with God.

Granddad: That's right Zeke.

Z: We are going to live here together for a long time, I'm going to live a long life...unless I get sick.

G: You're not going to be sick are going to live a long time.

Z: When we get old and die we will go to heaven and see my daddy.

G: That's right.

Z: Granddad, you will go first because you are old. ;)


Matt, Kara, and Hank (plus Teej) said...


Stacey said...

Zeke sounds like he's really doing as well as can be expected, and your answers to his questions are exactly correct. Thanks for the update, we all wonder how you are all doing.

Jenna said...

Sweet boy. Praying for his peace and understanding. Praying for all of you.

CJAlabama said...

Wow. Children are so wise. It's amazing how much they understand, even when we don't. I'm thinking about you, Jenny. Every day.

Hope said...

Bless his heart, He's trying so hard to understand. ((Hugs)) to your beautiful family.

Rebecca Jo said...

Sounds very wise for a young boy!!! I bet granddad isnt too happy with reminding him he's old though :-)

Oh, I can only imagine how your days have changed... but praying that those kids continue to put a smile on your face!

Rachel Kerbel said...

How precious are the innocent words of children. You are an encouragement to so many. I saw your blog through Camille's, and have been blessed by your strength!

McFarland Family said...

Zeke is so amazing and strong for such a young man. Jenny I will contnue to pray for you and your family to have strength each day

Lacie said...

You are doing wondeful with Zeke. I pray God gives you the wisdom and strength to continue to answer those honest and precious questions.

We are praying!

Jamie said...

If Zeke doesn't sound like Brad I don't know what does! Telling it like it is-Brad was always good at that! Praying for you guys with all my heart!

da momma said...

oh i love that sweet boy! You are doign such a great job Jenny! Please keep sharing those sweet stories...

Jessica said...

Bless his little heart! Sounds like he is really tring to understand. I pray for you everyday.

Ryon and Rachel said...

Thank you God for blessing this family with this sweet boy (and K too...can't forget about her). His understanding (so innocent, yet so knowledgable) of Heaven fills my heart with joy (and hope). It's good to hear from you, Jenny. I've been thinking about you and your family and praying for you...daily...several times a day!!!

With much love,


Jennifer said...

what a sweet boy! You have done an awesome job with him. I can hear his faith in his conversations with you.

Continuing to pray for you daily!

Perks said...

How precious. I love the Granddad comments. :)

My girls, especially P, couldn't understand why I've been getting sad the past week. P would say, "He's in HEAVEN!!! He's with JESUS!!! That's not sad!!!!" As if to say, "Get a grip, Mom. He's where he wants to be...with JESUS!" Kids, the most recently borrowed from heaven, so get it. Oh, for faith like a child.

Kelli said...

Just recently found your blog and wanted your sweet precious family to know that I just prayed for you and will continue praying for your hearts to heal. May God help you through these next few days, weeks, and months. May he give you peace and calmness and strength.

Anonymous said...

You are such an amazing woman!! What strength you have!! I know you have your "moments"--we all do--but you have shown me what a Christian Woman should be. My prayers continue to be with your sweet family. May God Bless you!!

P.S. You have done such an amazing job with your children!!

Amy B. said...

What a sweet reminder of why we should be more like children...

allison hanna said...

One day last week I was setting Jack and Zeke up to watch a movie. I asked Zeke if he wanted to sit with Jack in the long chair or in his daddy's chair. He looked at me with a "Duh, Alli" expression on his face and said,"My daddy is in Heaven. This is my chair now" and proceeded to hop in the chair and get quite comfy.

Anonymous said...

How completely priceless! It never ceases to amaze me how much children understand. Thinking of you. Love,


Jenny Wims said...

Thank you Denise for sharing Phoebe's quotes....I absolutely LOVE IT! Maybe Phoebe should have been the 6th speaker on Saturday :) I have certainly felt those same sentiments...especially when talking to myself as I get very emotional about Brad's absence.

Thank you Alli for sharing that story about Z & the chair....Zeke has a very special connection with that brown recliner, probably because Brad spent so much time in it recently. When we spoke the other day about items that reminded Zeke of his daddy he said the things that meant the most to him were, "Shamu (his big stuffed killer whale from Sea World that his daddy bought him), Disneyworld, and Daddy's brown chair.

Rebecca said...

Oh, what perfect sweetness and innocence! That Zeke...he's SO smart and precious! We're praying for your sweet family.

da momma said...

oh....that picture!!
love you!!

debralynne said...

Jenny, you are an awesome woman! You have the most precious children. God will bless you all more than you can ever imagine. Still praying for you!

Bobbie Brodsgaard said...

Being open and honest with your children is the best way to handle grief, I've been told. Talk your way through your grief, as you are doing. I know that keeping Brad's memory alive in those childrens' minds is your top priority. What a beautiful mother you are. God bless you all - my prayers are still offered daily for you and your big, wonderful, loving family.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful, sweet, innocent soul....I pray for God to give him peace and understanding...He knows that Brad will watch over him and will be his biggest fan in life! I commend you for the mother you are...I pray that you have peace and understanding during this time of healing and growing. You have a tremendous support system and I know that is a blessing...
Praying for you all...
Donna Billeaud

Heather said... are so very precious and I admire your strength. We will keep you and your babies in our prayers...always.

Troy and Heather

Camille, Blake and Pierce said...

The dialog that you have with your children is amazing and I in awe at Zeke's grasp of it all. You are an amazing mom and can only strive to be what you are... I sure do wish I could have been there to hug your neck... but we were praying and loving on all of you from Singapore.

Amanda Brooke Kilgore said...

Thank you for sharing such sweet words. The picture of the two of you by the casket was so very touching. I know you and Zeke will continue to be best buds and quite the support system for one another. I am soooooo sorry for your loss. I think of you often.

Anonymous said...

Jenny, You don't know me, my cousin is a fellow Aggie that requested prayers for your family and I also know Lisa H. from SS TX. I want you to know that the people in the church in Garland, TX are praying for you all, it is very evident that you all are a very special family with an amazing faith. Please be comforted in the great loss you feel by the knowledge that Brad was a great man of faith!

Ashley said...

Im praying for your family!!

Anonymous said...

Jenny, It is heartbreaking to read about Zeke's attempts to come to terms with losing his dad ... What a brave little guy. I know that Brad lives on in him every day and that is a precious gift. My heart goes out to you and I am thinking and praying for you during this very sad time.

Braden said...

I wept as I read this entry. Zeke's innocent questions were so insightful and moving. I am praying for your family tonight. May Christ fill you with his peace that goes beyond understanding.


The Museum said...

Such sweet and innocent questions. The "grandad" quote was priceless and brought a smile to my face in the midst of the pain that Scott and I are feeling for you and your children. You and Brad have instilled so much faith into your children. What an example you are to us all. The picture of you and Zeke is such a beautiful picture of holding him with such strength like God holds and carrioes us through our turmoil.
Love and hugs from the Muse family!
Scott, Mindy, Aiden & Caleb

Linda said...

Oh Jenny, tears are just flowing for you right now...I wish we could all have the understanding of a child. I am praying for you each and every day...may you be surrounded with peace and love.

Anonymous said...

You are such an amazing lady. Even though I know you are hurting, you show such strength and love for your family. You and Brad have such amazing children and the love you both have for them will remain strong in their hearts forever!

Shawna said...

You are such an amazing lady. Even though I know you are hurting, you show such strength and love for your family. You and Brad have such amazing children and the love you both have for them will remain strong in their hearts forever!

Nellie said...

We so love that you continue to include us in your journey. Zeke is quite the little man. All of you are covered with prayer daily, and we know that you will be provided with strength, comfort and peace through God's mighty hand. We love you!

The Texas Hoaglands said...

Jenny, you are an amazing mother. Praying for all of you......Zeke is wise beyond his years!

Wendy said...

I know that if he could, Brad would give up all the wonders of heaven to be back with you, without even thinking about it.

We're praying for God's peace for your family, and heartbroken with you.

Anonymous said...

The picture breaks my heart. Love you and pray for you constantly.

Anonymous said...

Jenny, I am in awe of your precious family. It has been made evident by your postings that your family has been and is a family of GREAT FAITH. You are such an encouragement to others, like myself, who through reading your blog has been so very blessed. My heart is very sad for your loss. Happy for Brad, yes because he has entered into the joys of Heaven with a brand new whole healthy body. Praise God!! I know too that doesn't take away your sadness and a heart that is broken. I continue to lift you, your children, Brad's parents, your parents and all your family up to our Father. May you be comforted.

Janice Reist

Emily said...

Wow... Zeke is just as amazing as you are! You and Brad have taught your children so much. I'm praying for you Jenny!

Angie Campbell said...

Thank you for sharing these sweet moments with us.

I love Zeke so much, and his adorable sweet spirit. I love how happy the kids are when they talk about Heaven, and all the fun that is happening there. Carson told me that Mr. Brad is living with Jesus and God, and that Jesus is his best friend, so he is having so much fun. Trace said he believed that Mr. Brad and his brother were playing basketball in Heaven because he loves basketball. W

We are praying for your sweet family, and Trace says extra prayers for all of you every night.

We love you Jenny, and we appreciate you sharing your deepest and innermost emotions with us.

Tom Martin said...

I've read the last couple of entries a couple of times, each time my heart hurts for your loss and rejoices at the same time to think of Brad's rest and reward. I'm proud of how you've handled this mess. Your faith and courage inspires me to no end. The way you listen to God's calling in the worst of times is awesome. I see God working in you daily. Luv, TMartin

Robin J said...

It's an old song from waaaay back in the day, but definitely personifies Brad's relationship with God and how obviously he and your family have impacted so many individuals through this blog to show your Christian spirit and unwavering faith.

"Thank You" by Ray Boltz

I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea
We heard these angels singing
Then someone called your name
You turned and saw this young man
And he was smiling as he came
And he said friend you may not know me now
And then he said, but wait
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start
And one day when you said that prayer
I asked Jesus in my heart

Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave

Then another man stood before you
And said remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry
You didn’t have much money
But you gave it anyway
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that’s why I’m here today

CHORUS (repeat)

One by one they came
Far as your eyes could see
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity
Little things that you had done
Sacrifices you made
They were unnoticed on the earth
In heaven now proclaimed

And I know that up in heaven
You’re not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord
He said, my child look around you
For great is your reward

CHORUS (repeat)

I am so glad you gave.

ColtonandJessica said...

I just stumbled across your blog yesterday and I have been reading it nonstop since. I read every entry, ever article, watched every video. You are an amazing inspiration. Your family is in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I found your blog recently and was really touched by it because I have children of similar ages. That photograph is difficult to look at; I cannot imagine the pain. My thoughts are with you and your family. A friend started this web site; you may be interested.

Luke, Holly, and Isaiah said...

I came across your blog a while back and have been praying for you since. It's an honor to stand among the many prayer warriors that love your family. I'm looking forward to someday meeting you and Brad.

Renee said...

The faith of his father lives on in Zeke's heart. I know someone is smiling at the insight of this child he proudly calls son and the wise, strong and faithful woman he calls wife.

Praying without waiver.

Anonymous said...

Zeke is the same age as I was when my Dad died, many years ago. I must say the time and caring you are spending with him will stay with him forever. My dad was taken far away to another hospital when he became ill, so I didn't get to say goodbye and no one talked about it. God bless you for loving and taking care of your family during your own grief. I am sure it is second nature to you. The picture of you and Zeke at the casket is profoundly special. It is the ONLY picture I have seen of you where you are not glowing. I am so deeply sorry for your grief. Please know so many are thinking of you and praying for your peace.

Anonymous said...

Jenny, I have spent many late evenings reading your blog before I went to bed. I have offered many prayers for healing. I wnat you to know how much admiration and pride I have for you and your wonderful comments about the things that have happened over the past two. years. I am so impressed with how you shared Brad's death with Zeke and know that was a very special time for the two of you. May God continue to bless you and your precious children in the years to come. You exhibited all of the characteristic of a wonderful, caring wife going through a very tramatic experience . What an example you are of a Christian wife and woman for all of us to see.

Heather said...

My sister in law came across your blog and shared it with me. I have been deeply touched by your experience and I admire your great strength. I pray that God will carry you and your family through this difficult time.

Tricia said...

What a sweet boy! You are doing a great job being the mommy he needs. I am praying for you everyday! I look forward to spending some time with you, Jenny said you were thinking about coming to our playgroup. Please continue to post your sweet stories!

amber dayton said...

Zeke has such a precious heart! I think that your honesty & openness will help he & Kaelyn heal so much. Praying for the Holy Spirit to give you just the right words for them every step of the way.

Wanda said...

I think Zeke has a pretty good grasp on things!!! He is a sharp young man. I have a feeling he has a lot of his Daddy's characteristics. I'm looking forward to the day I can greet your sweet family and give you a hug in person. God be with you and comfort you. You have all been great examples for others. Thanks for sharing with us, Jenny. You have done a beautiful job.

Anonymous said...


We all see your strength and the brave face you put on for your children, and think "what a faith she has.....what a great Christian mom/wife you have been". And you do/are.....but there will be days when you don't feel like you are so strong and you don't want to smile, and you just want Brad back. And that's why your family, friends, and even strangers will continue in prayer for you and yours in the days to come. We know that inside your heart has broken, and there must be days you question "why?".....and only God knows the answers/reasons. God will comfort you in the dark hours and bring a healing. I am reminded of a phrase I once read, and although I know it is too early in your grief....but think back on this: "Before God can mend a broken heart, he must first have all the pieces." Run to Him and let Him be your comfort. I encourage you to reach out to support groups and your family/friends. Know that people care, and dream of a bright future for you and your children. Continuing in prayer.......

jaime s said...

I'm still praying for you and your loved ones. Thinking about you all constantly!

Anonymous said...

I heard of your family through Mindy Muse. She spoke of your great strength and unending devotion to your husband and children. Please know your family is being lifted in prayer by complete strangers. Even in your time of sorrow, your blog is touching the lives of others. What a testimony! Hoping to meet you sometime.

Abbie said...

I think it is amazing how God gives children eyes and minds that are so holy and pure. We are praying for you to constantly feel God's love, peace and presence.

Tina Bateman Anderson said...

I have been thinking of you often and have been reading the blogs as you have been posting them. I teach little ones around Zeke's age at church on Wednesday nights.. The amount of faith that you have Brad have instilled in Zeke is nothing short of amazing. He has had such strong and faithful parents as an example, and will grow into complete understanding as time goes by. Thank you for sharing those most precious moments with all of us.. HUGS and prayers for all of you..

Anonymous said...

Still thinking about you and praying for you, Jenny. May God give you peace during the difficult days ahead.

New Braunfels

Anonymous said...

Please know that I am continually praying for you - Jenny along with Zeke, Kaelyn, Sandra and David and all the members of your extended family and friends. Praying that GOD will bring peace and comfort to your sweet family.
Lori Brown

Shawn Breland said...

My name is Shawn and I was a student of Brads at Channelview High School. I had his class for 2 1/2 years and was always my favorite teacher. Having his class changed my life and I will never forget the things he taught me. He taught me life lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. My last semester in his class was when he found out about yall's first baby. He said he was a little nervous but couldn't wait! I never saw what he(Zeke)looked like until now... A friend of mine that new how special and influential brad was to me, told me about you guy's website. I have never thought someone could touch me so much, but your entire family has done just that! I will pray for your family and I know Brad is in a wonderful place!

Thank you,

da momma said...

Just checking in on you....
What are you feeling sweet momma? Loving yall and praying!

Anonymous said...

Just thinking about you and your precious children. I can not imagine what you are going through, but hope you are all doing okay. We are still praying for you daily.

The Watsons said...

I stumbled upon your blog tonight, and I now sit here in tears. I realize this happened a little over a year ago, but since I am a complete stranger, and your story is "new" to me, I just had to say that I am so so sorry for your loss. However, as I continued to read your blog, I am amazed and encouraged and uplifted to see all of the precious pictures of you and your kiddos and to know you are continuing to raise them up to follow Him. May God continue to bless your sweet, sweet family.
Kim Watson
Abilene, TX